Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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