evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
