Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
