she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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