Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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