cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
