I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
