I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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