you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Boobs are out for the taking
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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