smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
