All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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