I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
