Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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