In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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