then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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