everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
