who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
