who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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