C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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