That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
be right there i have to get my cape
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
