Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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