you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
