I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
