Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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