it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
