i wish my penis had a tongue
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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