the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
