i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
