guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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