Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize