Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
