i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I AM VODKA MAN
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
