Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
