Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize