Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
