Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
