A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
