I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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