i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize