Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

where's my purse there's an important taco in it

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(786): View more from Florida

You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning

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(719): View more from Colorado

I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"

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(630): View more from Illinois

Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.

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(315): View more from New York

The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.

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(410): View more from Maryland

My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.

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