would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
