Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
