Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
