he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
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I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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