as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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