You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
