I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
