That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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