Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
