Dual....:-)
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
