Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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