Umm I'm too high to move.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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