Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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