Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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