Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry about my life...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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