Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
