Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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