we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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