Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
