i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize