My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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