Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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