I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
