what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Someone signed my nipple.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
